s Computer Times: Upgrade for Speed

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by Nowick Gray, Editor of Alternative Culture Magazine

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Computer Times

11 August 1999

Upgrade for Speed Because Time is Running Out?

It takes half a minute to load this "gargantuan" program, and I gaze into space while it does so, contemplating my $2000 outlay for a new engine to cut that speed to ten, or maybe even nine seconds.

Does this sound like you?

Wait--the purchase is only half done at this point: I make the call tomorrow. Is a solar eclipse an auspicious time to upgrade? Ask Nostradamus Industries, maker of the heralded Comet chipset...

Is it the end of the world--or do we have to wait another thirteen years before the speed of loading and processing reaches the nil point, and all events past present and future coalesce into one throbbing unity...

Gotta get that vehicle up to speed. No more stewing over a measly 44 dollars here, a hundred and eight there. Get into the overclocking generation, and cruise at the speed of thought into the night with your clean machine: doesn't this sound like home, the purring 327 in the cherry-cola Chevy, the 440 rubber-laying Plymouth?

Us guys gotta get around. No jewels for the lady, this time. A ninety-dollar used fourteen inch, and a rent-a-guitar for the kid: cheap games on the 486. At the correspondence school gym where I picked up my daughter's refurbished iMac, the floor was covered in a sea of 286's and 386's, plastic wrapped like so many drones from "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." On the round table a ring of bright blue Macs shine light knights about to rescue the youth of today--or consoles from the Enterprise, with its captains wearing enigmatic smiles.

Where is this heading? No, it doesn't matter about my two grand: my father made it in oil. He's dead now so who's complaining. We ride the millenium out in style, n'est-ce pas?

Otherwise there's only work and music. This digitizer knows a voice all its own, calling through the nights and days like the long ribbon of highway between this forest and the town. Either way I gotta commute so better compute. Half the budget for Toyota and Celeron? Well, they're part of the family now.

Gotta run, gang's back from town...

© Nowick Gray

Retail Therapy: Decision Making in the Computer Age

Retail Therapy 2: Random Brief Downtimes

Timewave Zero



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Many of the essays appearing here are collected in convenient e-book format (pdf). Coming Home: Nature and Me and Other Essays is available now for free download.

Right-click to save to your computer: nature.pdf

Rule Reversals (January 2003)

Telling it Like it Is (January 2003)

White Rabbit (February 2002)

On Novelty (February 2002)

An Open Letter to the Democratic Party after September 11 (December 2001)

Psychoactive Sacramentals: Essays on Entheogens and Religion (book review) (November 2001)

Forest Storm (September 2001)

Feminism, Poetic Myth, and Alternative Culture - An Homage to The White Goddess (July 2000)

Quests for Identity and Other Addictions (May 2000)

Wheel of Fortune (April 2000)

Great Writers and Street Poets (February 2000)

Upgrade for Speed Because Time is Running Out? (August 1999)

Retail Therapy: Decision Making in the Computer Age (August 1999)

Retail Therapy2: Random Brief Downtimes (August 1999)

Farouche Speaks (April 1999)

NetGlut: Notes from a cleansing fast (February 1998)

To Unix and Back Alive (January 1997)

Webness (November 1996)

Surfing Again (November 1996)

Bananas in British Columbia (May 1996)

Confessions of a computer addict (May 1996)

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